and just like that, it's over.
after a lovely week at tahoe, resting in the Lord, having good times hanging out with sophie and jeremiah, i come back to find that i didn't get into the minor. I was done...
i just texted brandon saying that i feel like i got shafted 2 quarters of my "college experience", but it is fitting. It feels right; the Lord has his own plan and it rarely goes with mine. and at this moment, i don't know where i'm going to be next month... i am going to give myself a month to find a job in la. if not, then i think i'm going to remain at home for the time being. i feel like i could enter into a season of rest and focused time of intimacy with the Lord. the first two days felt like a small glimpse of what could be.
i don't know, this is just a weird feeling. i mean, i love learning, i love going to class, i love knowledge and all i've ever known is school. and until my next two years of grad school, it's over. maybe it's not as bad because i've been thinking about graduation for the past year, ever since the whole crazy stay-in-china thang. haha. god i have no idea what you're doing... haha. but i'm sure it will beautiful :) it always is.
i feel like although my schooling feels like it's ended, there are still many things that aren't done in la... supernatural on campus, the people at ucla, it just doesn't seem done yet. Jesus, please make the path clear and obvious :)
i am excited for 2 weeks of break. it will be so good for my soul.
12/20/2009
12/08/2009
obligatory finals post, perhaps the last one
life is so uncertain. i don't know why i'm not freaking out. actually i do, because i know that you're going to take care of it :) it's a lovely feeling not stressing out about the future and just enjoying moment by moment. Thank you for that gift, Jesus :)
like i've said before, this quarter has probably been my most studious yet. probably a combination of living in the apartments, having been gone for a year, and not having the car these past couple of weeks so i can't go random places without a ride. blessing in disguise :P no matter how much i complain, Lord i know you know much better how I work. thank you for waking me up to study, for giving me alertness and a good brain to memorize stuff. i would really like to get all A's this quarter though :) for your glory. and it'd be nice to finish ucla strong. or u can just help me get in the accounting minor :P
Jesus, i'm awaiting the job that you have for me too. nothing has really happened so far but i know that's perfect timing because i wouldn't be able to commit to anything yet anyway. I'm just amazed how you work everything out, always exactly right. it's so nice to know you're in control :)
even with things concerning my heart right now, Lord, i'm trusting that my heart is distracted by one person so it won't be distracted with many. i mean, it's weird logic, but it works. i'm still holding out though Lord, and i know he's gonna be pretty amazing stuff :)
thank you Lord for a relatively warm apartment. haha even though it's cold as hell out there, it's not that bad in here. better than norcal home :P
thank you Lord for the tahoe trip to look forward to, time to just hang out with You and be with You and dance with You :) i'm excited to dance. and to dream. and just overall to spend time with you again. i know i haven't been very good with that, at least not in the "traditional" sense of spending time with you. i really want to get back into the Word. and I'd like another version of the Word that i can borrow. can you hook me up please? there's a lot of things that I'm sure you want to teach me and that i'm excited to learn too. many books to read, many hours to sleep, many conversations to be had. and maybe i shall ski.. perhaps.. :)
thank you Lord for a heart that feels, that is not TOO jaded, for your protection Lord. i know that if i had done things my own way, my heart would be in so much worse of a state. but you have been faithful and literally, kept the bois away :)
it's crunch time. 15 more hours for the hardest final. Jesus, i just need a little more focus and understanding. i really want to do well... if not, as long as you have the jobs lined up for me, that's fine too :P
i love you. bring daddy back home soon~
i love the way you move. i love the way you love me. i love the way you whisper my name. i love the way you love, period.
like i've said before, this quarter has probably been my most studious yet. probably a combination of living in the apartments, having been gone for a year, and not having the car these past couple of weeks so i can't go random places without a ride. blessing in disguise :P no matter how much i complain, Lord i know you know much better how I work. thank you for waking me up to study, for giving me alertness and a good brain to memorize stuff. i would really like to get all A's this quarter though :) for your glory. and it'd be nice to finish ucla strong. or u can just help me get in the accounting minor :P
Jesus, i'm awaiting the job that you have for me too. nothing has really happened so far but i know that's perfect timing because i wouldn't be able to commit to anything yet anyway. I'm just amazed how you work everything out, always exactly right. it's so nice to know you're in control :)
even with things concerning my heart right now, Lord, i'm trusting that my heart is distracted by one person so it won't be distracted with many. i mean, it's weird logic, but it works. i'm still holding out though Lord, and i know he's gonna be pretty amazing stuff :)
thank you Lord for a relatively warm apartment. haha even though it's cold as hell out there, it's not that bad in here. better than norcal home :P
thank you Lord for the tahoe trip to look forward to, time to just hang out with You and be with You and dance with You :) i'm excited to dance. and to dream. and just overall to spend time with you again. i know i haven't been very good with that, at least not in the "traditional" sense of spending time with you. i really want to get back into the Word. and I'd like another version of the Word that i can borrow. can you hook me up please? there's a lot of things that I'm sure you want to teach me and that i'm excited to learn too. many books to read, many hours to sleep, many conversations to be had. and maybe i shall ski.. perhaps.. :)
thank you Lord for a heart that feels, that is not TOO jaded, for your protection Lord. i know that if i had done things my own way, my heart would be in so much worse of a state. but you have been faithful and literally, kept the bois away :)
it's crunch time. 15 more hours for the hardest final. Jesus, i just need a little more focus and understanding. i really want to do well... if not, as long as you have the jobs lined up for me, that's fine too :P
i love you. bring daddy back home soon~
i love the way you move. i love the way you love me. i love the way you whisper my name. i love the way you love, period.
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