STAYING IN LA

and i am SO excited to do so :) wahhhh living with jen and sam is going to be so flippin' amazing ^^ i really do feel spoiled and super loved :) something about being with people who unconditionally love and accept you, wow :)

went to a wedding yesterday. Jesus has blessed me a ton with the absence of the desire to not be single (aka i'm okay being single) and that's been AMAZING. it's been wonderful not being heads over heels over some boy that will probably never work out and its been wonderful just living life and not caring who sees or watches or observes. it was WONDERFUL to just let loose and dance crazy on the dance floor and not try to impress anyone. because it was RIDICULOUSLY MEAT-MARKET-like. it was like BAAYF lol for older people. ughhhh just felt so gross and icky from that. checkin' out guys, the christian-style. *sigh*. now that jayon and anita are together, i thought i would be more BLEH and be more boy-crazy but yah, tons of grace with that :) i think it's helpful being around 30-year-olds and just older people in general. for someone reason, it was when i was with pc people that i felt more pressure to be in a relationship... weirdness. anyway...

back to jen's wedding. it was pretty flippin amazing fun :) mostly the dance floor part and the after-wedding karaoke and eating part. and last night at the source, my body was so exhausted and i went into this trance-like state for a bit... like halfway between unconsciousness and consciousness. and just observed. i just felt so content, to be there with the source people, to be there with people whom i loved and cared for, to be with family. i've been feeling that more and more as i get older which is weird. it's not nostalgia, it's contentness and smiling a half-smile and just enjoying the moment. maybe this is what it means to slow down and smell the roses :)

anyway, i'm glad my co-worker bailed on me today. needed a day to do nothing but email, talk to people on the phone and sleep a lot. and i really need to get back into the swing of things in terms of cleaning after myself, cooking, and exercising. it's been a month since the bday and i really have no excuse except pure laziness :)