dangit. it's starting again, i can feel it. where everything becomes with an "i don't care" attitude. i can tell cause i slept 18 hours today and missed all my classes cause i just didn't feel like going. 6 more weeks to go. i feel like this every time something in my life ends, like when i was just about to go to china last year, like when i was about to finish high school and move out. things just don't matter anymore and i just want to jump as soon as possible to the next stage.
argh. i suck at being patient Lord and "enjoying the process" has never been a strong point for me. help me out here, i don't want to mentally already be at LA when i still have so much time here. i need a kick in the butt and some hard-core discipline, in all areas of life right now. i don't want to be a fluctuating, up and down, independable, dothingsonlywhenshefeelslikeit, kind of person .
i am not a fan of feelings. they can't be trusted -_-'
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