So what have i REally been doing this past year in beijing??

Haha okay well it's a lot more than this, but my past 4 months have completely been devoted to this and so I might as well start from the beginning (mind you, this is a very very long explanation):

So, around October/November of last year, I was talking to God about how I was really loving beijing/china in general, sort of in an unexplainable manner. As in, if you had asked me to pinpoint a particular reason, i wouldn't be able to tell you. all i knew was that several months early, during the summer, i had not felt like that. but at that time, if you had said that i was staying in china for the rest of my life, i would have been okay with it. (i know, crazy huh? that's God for ya)

Anyway, one day i was doing devos and this random crazy thought flew across my mind that maybe I should apply for the school of management at beida (the school i'm studying abroad at ) and then i could stay here for another 4 years and REALLY improve my chinese, at the same time i could learn how to do business stuff in chinese (accounting/finance/marketing/human resources) which is what I had planned to do in the States with an accounting minor. I mean, I had wanted to stay in China, so why not get a degree here while I'm at it?

At this point, most people said something along the lines of "but you'd be wasting 3 years of ucla education!!" i guess it depends on what you think "waste" is then, because my time at ucla, making the friends I did, learning the things I did, having the experience that I had had, I wouldn't consider a single moment of that "a waste".

Other people said, “UCLA degree makes it so much easier for you to get a job!" well, that was true, but with the way the economy is going now, it doesn't matter where you graduated from really. and at that point, and even now, i know your degree is not the only thing that gets you a job. i had had an offer to work at one of the top four accounting firms in beijing before the beginning of this crisis, and none of that had anything to do with UCLA. when it comes to connections and hookups, i have the Ultimate one :) so, wasn't really worrying about that either.

anyway, these were the reasons i sent my brothers (feel free to skim!)
Reasons
Logistically:
-future plan has always concerned business, in Guanghua, i'll learn more about business than at UCLA where my major is now linguistics
-China has been in my future for a while now, meaning that I really need to learn the language. the majority of these classes are in Chinese, not English. additionally, becuase i already took many accounting/math/science classes at UCLA in english, the main focus will be for me to learn the language
-must apply in person and since i'm already here, it would make sense for me to apply now (in march for next year's admission)
-i'm already staying in the most coveted international dorms which are impossible to get otherwise, if i choose to stay, i already am settled in this dorm, without needing to look elsewhere
-if i go back to the states, i will forget a lot of my chinese (small reason but important nonetheless) and i feel like this year will have been a waste, in terms of language improvement
-currently applying for an internship at a Big4 accounting firm, deloitte, where i know the partner and she's pulling strings for me; an internship is required for guanghua
-i really do not feel any qualms about leaving ucla

Spiritually:
-feel like God's put China in my heart, different confirmations during the summer and thus far in just adapting to Beijing well, praying for the city and its people in a way that I didn't in the states
-when i left UCLA, there were many times that i felt that my UCLA season was over; even in my time spent here this far, my relationship with God has grown exponentially in seeing what I learned during my time in UCLA in action (stuff I learned about ministry, from PC, about house churches, about intimacy with God, about worship)

Financially:
-4 years in Guanghua = 1 year at UCLA. crazy but true, including 4 years of tuition and housing; 26000rmb(tuition)+3600rmb(rent) for 4 years is about $17411 which is about $60 less than what parents have paid (on average) my first 2 years at ucla
-also because the money is spread out to be paid in 4 years instead 1, interest can be accumulated (in CD's maybe?) for like another ~$600? (need to check my math on this)
-dad had me save $5000 to help pay for college, this will cover food and all other misc. fees for 4 years more than enough
-when i applied for a job tutoring english, they offered me 130rmb/hr which is about $20/hr; tutoring english on weekends and some on weekdays for 8 hours is about 1000 rmb, easily covering 3 months rent


Conclusion: This is really an option that I'm considering, I haven't made any conclusions yet, and I will be praying and fasting for this throughout December. I definitely value any insight you have and I really want to mom and dad to bless this decision, maybe even to the point where if they don't bless it, then I won't do it (thoughts?). I realize that this is... slightly crazy and risky and weird and all that, but prayerfully going through this.

I also know that if this is wha tGod wants, everything my friends said, is basically null. God will open the doors and establish the contacts needed (like the deloitte partner that i "happened" to meet) and He alone is in charge of my future. he has been faithful and will continue to do so. he will provide a job for me, and where he sends me, i will go. soo maybe this is where he's sending me? i guess that's what i'm trying to figure out. i also know that mom/dad is the biggest hurdle and that if God does change their hearts, then i will take that as my confirmation.

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11/22/08
What God has done since:
So, I talked to another of my UCLA friends and he reminded me that I had originally planned to graduate earlier. I totally had forgotten about this option and so I did some planning and if all goes well, I can graduate this summer by taking Session A and C and then come back to China with a UCLA degree. Praise God that i can get the cake and eat it too :)

Also, I talked to a few friends who had already got into Guanghua and they were telling me about the entrance exams which are one of the craziest thing a Chinese students go through. The test is on Chinese history, overview of China, math, and chinese language (all these in chinese) and English. I was freaking out and really really rethinking this whole thing becuase i hate history and there's no way i can memorize 2000 yrs of Chinese history in Chinese too. Anyway, what ended up happening is that i found out that they JUST changed it this year where they removed both the chinese overview and the chinese history section out of the test!!! praise GOD!!!!!!

So God's totally opening doors and paving the way for this right now it seems, i'm no longer stressing about the test at all and just focusing on what i'm doing right now. granted, there's still a lot of obstacles even with these things straightened out; there are many probably issues that may come up: ALL my units from China have to transfer, and the clases that i need to be offered HVAE to be offered either session A or C otherwise i can't graduate. and, without my parents blessings this is still a no-go. so yah, that's where i am.

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phew. anyway that's like half of it. basically the other half is, parents totally backed the idea, i had tons of great tutors through connections of friends of friends [God or odd], studied my butt off (no really, i ACTUALLY studied) for about 2 months, took the test which was freaking hard, and didn't get in.

haha sorry for the anticlimatical ending, but no i didn't get in and no i do not regret a single minute of studying nor do i wish i could have done it all over again. for whatever reason, God has me where I am now. throughout the process, i saw so much of God's faithfulness in providing me rest when I needed it, tutors when i needed it, and most important of all, a peace knowing that whatever the outcome, my life would continue to be in His hands.

so what now? I have no idea :) I can barely see 3 months ahead of me but I have full confidence that it will only be another interesting and wonderful adventure with my Daddy as i keep learning about more of who He is and His amazing love.

anyway, definitely props to you if you read the whole thing, definitely let me know if you want to hear more about this or other things :D sometime later I'll probably post pictures of what i've been up to since (probably around finals, knowing me). i also apologize for whatever atrocious grammar errors i have made, my english is definitely not as good as it used to be ^^

below is a picture of my roommate and one of my biggest cheerleaders throughout this whole thing :D and some of the eap-ers who took me out to italian food after the test to celebrate :D


love you jody, michelle, junia and adi~